Date: Mon, 30 Jul 2001 19:18:41 -0600 From: Richard J Green Reply-To: johnny at charm.net To: johnny at charm.net, St. John's College Alumni Subject: The Death of a Cat The Death of a Cat It was Sunday night. I had to wake up at 5:00 AM on Monday morning in order to drive the 80 miles to Dugway in time for work at 7:00 AM. Nevertheless, Mary and I had decided to go out to a bar, Burt's Tiki Lounge to see High Ball Train, my favorite SLC area band. We left the bar at midnight. "I wonder if Chris and Maggie are back yet." I said as I pulled my car in front of my house. "It looks like there are a few people out on the porch." Mary said. I looked, and sure enough there were a few people sitting on the front porch. That was not surprising. Our porch had become a kind of social gathering place. If Maggie had been out to a bar, there was no telling who might be on the front porch. Then I noticed Maggie running up to the car. She was crying. I rolled down the window. She was talking fast and frantically. That coupled with her Yorkshire accent made it difficult to make out what she was saying. I thought she said that my Mom died. I had a terrible sinking feeling. "My mom?" I asked. "No. No. No." Maggie said, "Ramona died. Diane's here; I wanted you to know what was up before you came up on the porch." My first reaction was one of relief. Ramona was one of Diane's cats and also a littermate of my cats, Fizzy and Tafkar. Diane was moving to Kansas City, MO, to continue her graduate studies in genetics. She was living for a month with a housemate who was allergic to cats, and we had volunteered to take in her cats, Ramona and Friday, until she took them to Missouri. "Oh my God!" Mary said, "she was fine right before we left." "That's what I was wondering about," Maggie said, "she was definitely ok when you left?" "Yes." I said. We made our way up to the porch. Chris and Ben were sitting quietly on the porch. Diane had tears in her eyes and was holding a box in her hands. I gave her a hug. "The vet had told me she had a hole in her heart," Diane said, "I knew she could go at anytime." "That doesn't make it any easier." Mary said and Mary ought to know. "It didn't look like she got hit by a car or anything," Maggie said, "she was just lying there in the driveway. I wasn't even sure she was dead at first until I saw the pee. Then I knew she was dead, but I felt for her pulse anyway. How are you supposed to tell if a cat is dead?" "Maybe by her temperature." I said. "She was still warm." Maggie said. Tafkar came up. "Meow," he said. "Hi Tafkar. Are you sad about your sister?" I asked. "Meow." He said. "The other cats were all standing around wondering what to do," Maggie said. "All three of them?" I asked. "Yeah," Maggie said. "they were all out there." "Sniffing her." "No. They weren't sniffing. They were standing back a little, kind of waiting for a human to sort it all out." "I had no idea what to do." Chris said. "We knocked on Blake's door at first." "He wanted nothing to do with it." Maggie said. I found that surprising. "So I guess they contacted Ben and he found me." Diane said. "Is that her? Can I see her?" Mary asked. Diane opened the box and unwrapped the towel that covered Ramona's lifeless body. I petted her one last time. Her fur was soft, and her body was still warm, but she was no longer she. "Goodbye," Mary whispered. "Goodbye Ramona," Diane said, crying. "What are you going to do with her?" Mary asked. "Bury her." Diane said. "Maybe in the mountains." Ben said, and Diane nodded. "Have you ever had a pet die before?" Mary asked. "Yes." Diane said. "I know; it never gets any easier. It will always hurt. It will always be there." Mary said pointing to her heart. Mary had lost a cat when she was a little girl that she had loved dearly. By the time she was twenty, she also lost her first son when he was one year and five days old. "I feel lucky in my life." Diane said. "My parents and grandparents have all lived a long time. I even got to know some of my great grandparents. It's hard to say that I've been robbed. Compared to a lot of people, I've been really lucky. I knew she could go at any time." We sat quietly for awhile. "We should go." Diane said to Ben. "When do you leave I asked?" "Wednesday morning." "I probably won't see you then" I said. "I'll be back in September." "Then I need a hug that will last until September." Diane smiled, stood up and we had a nice long hug before she and Ben left. When they were out of hearing range I said to Maggie, "I thought you said it was my Mom, at first." "I'd never go running up to tell you something like that. I'd sit you down first." "When you said Ramona, I actually felt relieved." "It's different," Maggie said, "it's a different kind of grieving for something like that." "In some ways, it's not that different," Mary said. "Of course it's a lot harder, but in some ways it's not that different." "I didn't want to call Diane on her mobile and tell her." Maggie said. "So you called Ben?" I said, "that's probably better." "I didn't have Ben's number. I called Ashley and Brooke and Deb to get it." "So they all know?" I asked. "Yeah, Brooke called back. They were pretty sad. It turned out when I reached Ben that he was just on his way to meet Diane; so he went and got her and brought her here." "That's got to be really hard right when she's in the middle of a big transition," I said. "Yeah, but it's better now when she has all her friends around to support her. Can you imagine if it happened right after the move?" Mary said. "That would be hard." I said. "I feel guilty for kicking her out of me room when she was biting my feet last night," Maggie said. "I shook my head. Maggie, you can't..." "I know she said. I am going to miss her though." Chris and Maggie went to go to sleep. "We can all go at anytime." Mary said. "I know." I said. I knew she was not just thinking of Ramona. "I talk to Forrest about it all the time. He knows I could lose him or he could lose me." "It's part of why I decided to have him. I knew I could lose him at any time, but I also knew that I could handle it." "Does Forrest know about Samuel?" "Yes. We go and visit his grave sometimes." "It must make you sad." I said. "I think about him every day," Mary said. "You never told me how you found out. You didn't find him, right?" "No my grandma found him." "And he drowned in the toilet?" "They thought he drowned at first, but they didn't find water in his lungs. They think it was somehow compression on his body. I since found out that a lot of babies are killed by toilets." "I guess people should keep the seats down or make sure that kids aren't in there without watching, but there are so many things, like covering outlets; you can't anticipate everything," I said. "No you can't. I keep poisons like bleach and stuff away from Forrest, but you never know what else could happen. You can be cautious, but you can't live your life in fear." "Yeah. I agreed." "Even adults can go at any time; we could get in a traffic accident or have a heart attack." "It's true." "It must have been really hard on you, Mary." "I was really angry for a long time. I wasn't angry at anyone; there was no one to be angry at. It wasn't anyone's fault. Not my family's, not God's; I don't believe in God; so there was no one to blame, but I was still very angry for a long time." "At the unfairness?" "No. Not at the unfairness. I was just angry, that's all." We were quiet for a moment. "I remember her coming to visit me today. She was all cuddly and purring," Mary said. "I know ," I said. "It's hard to believe she's gone." -- Best Regards, Rich Green http://www.holocaust-history.org/~rjg To e-mail me please include the word "friend" in the subject.