Date: Sun, 20 Aug 2006 16:55:44 -0400
From: Jennie McGee <humblescribe at comcast.net>
To: johnny at charm.net
Subject: from the Djinni

Greeting, Greetings, Johnnie Listerines!

It is I, Her Gracious and Wish-Granting Loveliness, who hails you all and 
enquires after your collective and individual psychic Wellnessess. I bring 
particularly luscious and loving wishes for The Guvnor, Auntie EMM, the 
Buddhist Hoogstra, the High Commander of the Order of the Knights of 
Schweppervescence, The ListMaster, the saucy Ms. S. M-F, and a certain 
Young Scooterist who recently experienced a Nasty Upset. If any of you 
have experienced any Verbena-Scented Waftings lately, then please know 
that I've been Haunting your haunts. If not, then kindly pay closer 
attention. The Universe, and My Humble Self, have been doing Our Very Best 
to educate, enlighten, and inspire you on a moment-to moment basis. 

Oh, My Beloveds and the Delight of My Violet-Scented Eyelashes, how very 
hard Her Ever Loving Graciousness has been working of late! Were it 
possible for a Tirelessly True Being such as myself to become exhausted, I 
would say that I am as flummoxed as a hungry tiger at a vegan supermarket.

So many people in need of red-hot wish-granting juju, so little time! The 
wish-fairies have been working overtime, spritzing rosewater on My Fevered 
But Radiant Brow, and the Custard Monkeys have been simply swamped. Yes, 
my humble human friends, there are such things as flying monkeys, but 
please note that are they have been horribly slandered by a certain 
children's book author who ought to have known better. These essential 
simians are not at all the screeching and leering creatures portrayed by 
certain well-meaning but ignorant Hollywood hacks.

No, your true Custard Monkey is an Entirely Benign and Loveable Creature, 
splendidly winged, cream colored, ambidextrous, and somewhat dandified. 
(They are fond of elaborately embroidered waistcoats.) If they are prone 
to garrulousness and to gesticulation, it is because they are true 
artisans, scrupulous in their production of Karmic Comfort Custard, which 
as you can imagine is a demanding and intricate art. (Some have accused 
them of dipping too freely into the vanilla extract on occasion, but I 
say, that if I were responsible for handcrafting individual batches of 
K.C.C., using only the freshest hand-gathered etheric essences, under the 
most demanding of dharmic deadlines, and knowing that the emotional and 
destinical health of many an unsuspecting human were absolutely dependant 
upon my success, well, then I might well be Hitting the Mini-Bottles On 
Occasion, Myself.) 

Where was I? Ah yes, well, the Wish Fairies have been kept hopping, 
following Me about, hither and yon, and trying to Keep Up My Updos in the 
Midst of a Veritable Whirlwind of Supernatural Wish-Granting. But I do 
have a small window of time just now, in which to Rest and Refresh Myself. 
So here I sit at the Humble Scribe's house, sipping a fine lychee black 
tea, and contemplating the H.S.'s flower beds. I note with pleasure that 
it has been an excellent year for the Penstemon. Also, the mini-grove of 
Quaking Aspens that I caused to "volunteer" by the HS's portal is coming 
along nicely. 

Perhaps it was a bit extravagant of Me to rearrange the entire weather 
pattern of New Mexico to just suit my differently-abled servant, but there 
you are. (I did the same thing back in the summer of 1923, at the request 
of my dear friend (and former Scribe) Genoviva Chavez, who asked that the 
sere and placid climate of her adopted Santa Fe home be temporarily 
rearranged to resemble the steamy rainforests of her native Guatemala. 
This was in thanks for an exquisite "Roasted Pork and Apricot Mole A La 
Djinni" which GC had made just for Me. Those were the days!) At any rate, 
the H.S. was at long last able to claim her ceremonial scroll from that 
funny little school she dotes upon, without the bother of either fainting 
or fits. But I Digress.

The Nub of My Gist, Dear Ones, is this: What can Her Munificence do for 
you today? Rack your Magnificently Well-Educated Brains, Dear Ones, and 
Discover the Urgent Inner Boon which would make your Toes Tingle and your 
Heartstrings Hum, then Ask Away!

The Dharmic Doctor Is In! Huzzah!

Hoping to Hear from One, All, Or Any,

The ELSPWG Djinni