To: johnny at charm.net
Date: Thu, 1 Nov 2001 01:39:02 -0500
Subject: ITS STILL JOHNNIE-1 TO ME (parody)
From: Christopher Gillen <gracci at juno.com>

ITS STILL JOHNNIE-1 TO ME
to the tune of  "Its Still Rock 'n' Roll To Me"
(with apologies to Billy Joel)

What's the matter with
These posts I'm reading?

    Can't you sense there's
    A turning tide?

Weren't we just discussing
DU ammo?

    Ellis left and
    That thread has died.

    Now we're doing anthrax
    And 9-11,
    Penile piercing lore
    And 'Highway to Heaven'.

Everybody's talkin'
'Bout the 'olde dayes'
Funny, but it's still
Johnnie-1 to me.

How about a quiz
Like "Find your pet type"?

    Can't you tell we're
    Not in the mood?

Maybe I could comment
On a Great Book?

    It had better be
    A great book on food.

    Nowadays
    You can't be too intellek-chul
    You'd best stick to cheap shots
    Or anything sexual

Frank's bunk, Lee's drunk
But even if it's all junk
It's still Johnnie-1 to me

Oh
It doesn't matter what
They say at the college
Its been years now since
We've played that scene

Once a year we'll get down
To our old stamping ground
But it always ends up vaguely obscene
Aging Johnnies acting like teens

How about a lesson
On Greek grammar?
Would that we'd address
The optative wish!

    Well you could really
    Make the Great Post list, baby,
    If you tied that in to
    (was re: raw fish)

    Don't waste your time and effort
    Trying to impress us
    It makes you look foolish and
    It tends to depress us

Its the charm.net jet set
Dixie's got a new pet
It's still Johnnie-1 to me

What about a thread
On medical science?

    Acupuncture
    Or healing touch?

I'm not sure, see, I've
This pain in my liver...

    Oh, that's prolly
    'Cause you're drinking too much

    Welcome to the world
    Of post-College living
    A bit more hostile
    And a lot less forgiving

It's the next gen, count ten
And it will come 'round again
It's still Johnny-1 to me

Everybody's pinin'
For the 'olde dayes'
Funny, but it's still
Johnnie-1 to me

- Christopher Gillen, A'90