Date: Mon, 22 Feb 1999 22:17:17 -0500 (EST)
From: Christopher Gillen <c-gillen at sjca.edu>
Subject: Signs of the Apocalypse

Book of Revolution,
Chapter 9, Verses 17-25

17. From the land west of Calvert shall arise Mammon's servant.

18. By his works shall ye know him and upon the entry to his domain
    shall be placed a sign in the hand of man to read 'FDIC insured'.

19. He shall delight in that which is his in the name of Mammon, but
    in that which is not his, though yet of Mammon, shall he take no
    joy.

20. He shall bestow great blessings upon he who has received his mark,
    yet on he who lives without the mark, though he be of Mammon still,
    shall he shew great anger and all forms of ill-manneredness.

21. The golden coin of Mammon shall he eagerly exchange for silver unto
    he that bears the mark, yet to he who lives without the mark shall
    he make no exchange, though he be offered the same golden coin.

22. For he that lives without the mark is cursed to go without exchange
    until the time of Revolution.

23. Great wailing and gnashing of teeth shall not sway the servant of
    Mammon from his purpose, nor the sickly-sweet words of supplication,
    nor the fear of the government of Man, for he is deaf to all.

24. In the time of Revolution shall his catflap be skewered with a fiery
    poker, his stomach, fat with coin, be slit, and his thirst slaked
    with salt and vinegar.

25. And a great shout shall go up from the people, crying 'Where is thy
    Master now, O fool?' yet shall come no answer and so shall the servant
    of Mammon pass from this earth. 


Translation:  1st Bank of Maryland at Calvert and West in Annapolis seems
to have adopted a new policy of NOT CHANGING MONEY unless the money-holder
has an account with the bank.  A pox upon them for the inconvenience.  I
had to wander Annapolis trying to change a fifty down into something small
enough to take a cab with.

- - Christopher Gillen, A'90