Date: Thu, 15 Nov 2001 01:33:20 -0500
From: Susan Peterson <eulogos at stny.rr.com>
To: johnny at charm.net
Subject: A quibble re sprinkling was Hard shell Baptist

I think the individualistic idea makes more sense to most Americans, even a lot of
Catholics...

I had a period of being drawn to Christ and then a very dark period ( begun after I
was pushed into having an abortion I didn't really want to have, a few months after
I got married.) in which I went in the opposite direction, literally couldn't even
understand a paper I had written a few months back during the previous
period...behaved rather badly in several ways.... and then one night after one such
time I made a surrender of sorts "This is not the way to live, I don't know what
is, but this isn't."   This would be more lucid but too long with specifics.

Another time.

But, with that small surrender a barrier, a defense had come down.....I wasn't
particularly aware of to whom I had made the surrender and had almost forgotten
what I might be open to... In this state of mind and soul I came back to St, John's
after spring vacation, in time for Holy Week (between Palm Sunday and Easter for
any who might not have known this)although I didn't know it.  On Good Friday, Mr.
Tourtelott came to lab dressed in a suit.  This was very out of place, occasioned
some comment, and he said it was because he was going to church. He was asked why,
there may even have been some derisive comment by a few rude and shallow people.
He said "The son of man was crucified on this day." Exact words. I remember that he
had quite a large voice; the words filled the room. I think he spoke in such a
formal way as a way of admonishing the callow and ignorant people who made the
derisive comments, I don't know.  But I know that it hit me like the voice of God
out of the clouds, with such force I was surprised to find myself still conscious
and breathing and sitting in my chair.   I wanted to leave with him when he left
lab early, but I didn't have the guts. After lab I started to walk back along the
old paths, went to someone's room who was anxious to renew an illicit relationship,
had a lit hash pipe in my hand.....And suddenly put it down on the desk, said, "I
have to go" and fled the room. I went up to St. Anne's, where I knew Jim had gone.
By then there was just a children's service going on; they were singing "Were you
there..."   I watched a while and then left, with the determination that I would go
to church Easter Sunday. I did and it was at that service that I got my glimpse
through the curtain into another world ; I had my "conversion experience."

At that time Jim was saying he was going to be a Unitarian minister...I was a
member of a Unitarian fellowship all through jr. high and high school....he seemed
to me way too religious to be a Unitarian!

Since this is on the list I spoke in the third person even though you, Jim,
addressed me.  Also it made it less embarrassing and difficult to tell the story.

I see you have a .state.us email address.  My other email address is
AA3710 at dfa.state.ny.us   Are you a fellow bureaucrat?

All will be well and all will be well and all manner of thing will be well.

Susan F. Peterson