pain
i was prepared to share in some imagined beauty
i thought for sure that this time was real
/you shd be
laughing at this point
real?
iz this bitch
serious?
there
is absolutely no reality for me
none
except pain
/just
like goin to african dance class
after five months
doin w/out
everything
hurts
i was prepared for good things to happen
to
thru
all around me/
instead
i get pain
sautéed over low flame w/
hope
naiveté
served up on a platter
w/my vulnerability for garnish
the
house is dark
no
one comes home for dinner
i
wilt on my platter like day old lettuce
the
roaches eat me up
i thought i was prepared for anything you cd give me
there is no prepartio for pain
took a crash course in spanish:
they offered
law
business
theatrical
makeup
weaving
wine
tasting
public
speaking
there are no crash courses in pain endurance
if there was i cd teach it
you
have given me a phd in painology
i wrote my thesis/ on a broken heart
now I sit on a platter of self pity
watching myself wilt
while roaches nibble at the dead brown leaves of my ability
to give
maybe i wouldn’t have given it up so easily
had I known what it was like
to love some specialness
i wd’ve remained ignorant of the way you made me feel
and the pain that had to follow
pain
is a greedy ol’ bum
followin’ me down the street
droolin &
nasty
he wants to touch me/
he always touchin’ th’ edges o fmy
skirts
gettin his dirty hands
tangled up among my dreams
and knees
tryin to cop a feel offa lonliness
from between my legs
pain never gave me a
chance/
to enjoy the joy you made me feel
turned my love into a bitter drink
i had to swallow
alone
11/2/81
© geri lynn peak